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One of my main goals in life, and especially in the new year, is to remain positive. I've received so many blessings and opportunities and I've learned that maintaining positivity is the way to get things that you didn't even know you wanted. However, there are always going to be people that have to have a hard time. You know who I'm talking about: Debbie Downer.

Debbie Downer is the girl or boy (Donnie Downer, anyone?) who always brings the negative to focus in an otherwise happy situation. If you are lacking in a personal reference at the moment, refer to the Saturday Night Live skit with Rachel Dratch in which she manages to bring down the excitement of Disneyland with references to bombings and the like. How anyone can think of anything other than happiness or Mickey Mouse shaped ice-creams at Disneyland is beyond me.

However, here are three things to remember when faced with a Debbie (or Donnie) Downer:

1. They might not be able to help it. Not everyone is able to see the positive in a situation. Some people are just made with negative personality traits. While you might find a circumstance to be a constant thrill, they may be overcome with nerves or fear that causes them to say negative things. This is where number two comes in...

2. Don't let them get you down. It is so easy to talk about things you hate rather than to talk about things you love. Among young people there is often a feeling of competition and when we're talking about things we like, we often want to love it more than our friends do. Hate, however, is something we can share. We hate people because our friends hate them. We hate foods because our parents do. We hate the way we look because the media tells us to do so. We hate things in groups but we love things alone. Loving something while someone else doesn't is difficult because you don't want to force them into loving it or seem overly positive (Think Glinda the Good Witch). While they may be only seeing the negative, attempt to bring the positive to their attention without being ugly about it. Trust me. This part takes practice.

3. Accept that sometimes people don't want to be happy right now. Sometimes it is hard to imagine that other people are really going through things, just as you do. We can believe that other people live these painless lives, if we cannot see their outward strife. However, real people have real problems. And they all matter. Sometimes people get caught up in their heads and cannot quite get out, and they just cannot be happy right now. This may mean they say things that make you upset or even, angry with them. As Elsa told you, let it go. Your pent up anger and frustration doesn't help them or you. And if you are both upset, no positivity will flow around you. Accept that this person may not be able to happy right now, and try to share some love and positivity with them. Don't force it. Let your happiness radiate so that it flows over them. They'll appreciate it, even if not at that exact moment.

Maybe you've been in situations likes these (maybe you've even been Debby/Donnie at that time). If so, I hope that theses offer moments of reflection and redirection. It's hard to be positive all the time and it can seem quite unrealistic. Do your best to maintain positivity in 2015. A happy heart is the healthiest heart.

catch you later,
Karleigh

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.  // Proverbs 17:22 NIV