2/365

I had an entire post written out for today and then life happened. Don't you hate that?

When I was a little girl, my mother took me to pick out a puppy. I can only remember one part of this, mainly sitting in the front seat of her Toyota after picking out my tiny dachshund puppy. He was so very small. I named him Precious, which I have regretted multiple times throughout his fifteen years -- not because he wasn't precious, but because people often assumed he was a girl. 

It's funny how animals age. Because three months ago, my little boy was running around the house and waiting for me at the door on Friday afternoon when I came home for the weekend. Now, he can't see me from certain distances and he can't hear me come in on Friday evening. This morning, when I woke to find Precious in a very unwell state, it was very obvious that my baby was an old man now. Have you ever been with your grandparents and suddenly you realize how old they are? Like when they forget how to crank the car or what your name is? I hope you haven't, because that is a very sad feeling. People grow old and you lose them and the same happens for animals.

Today, I have to put my dog to sleep. If you had been there while my mother and I discussed this, you would imagine that this animal was an old man whom we had known for a long time -- whose death would leave us almost inconsolable. I don't really understand how pets become like family members to us, but I guess when you are home alone and you talk through making dinner or while watching TV, it's better to have a dog there so that you can say you weren't just talking to yourself. They listen to us rant and curl up at our feet when we're sad and somehow they become like little people who love you so unconditionally that it hurts to say goodbye to them.

I'm writing this pre-euthanasia because I'm sure to be too upset to write it after. I hope my baby sleeps extremely peacefully. Thanks for being such a sweet and loving boy. I love you so much.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"A dog is the only thing on Earth that loves you more than he loves himself." // Josh Billings