90/365

When I was a little girl, I had one phrase that I said more than anything else: "I can do it." I hate to say that I am still that way. Maybe it's the Virgo in me -- if you believe in the descriptions of astrological signs -- that commands me to be like this. I just do not want people's hands in my projects, or their help if I think I can do something alone. I thrive under pressure, so that's never been a problem for me. I love to be busy and I love having people look to me at deadlines and such. I just enjoy doing things (and I especially love when I am able to do them well).

However, I cannot always handle things by myself. It takes a lot of me to let go of something; it just so happens that my grip is very tight. I cannot stand to tell someone 'no' or that I'm unable to do something. I will stretch myself quite thin, and I do so frequently. 

What I am going to have to start telling myself is that I cannot do anything. I'm literally unable to be apart of everything, or to have my hand in all projects. However, I always appreciate patience when people give me a second to figure this out. I always feel that when I have to turn someone down that I am letting them down somehow but, like I said, I cannot do everything. 

This is a lot of confirmation for me. It's nice to have a reminder that it's okay to say no every now and then. Some days I really do need to just sit on my computer and watch vlogs by British people until I fall asleep. Some days I need to wake up at six and get started on everything immediately. I feel that everyday I wake up with a different personality, but you have to wake up and jump on your plans for the day. If that means that I get up six and get started immediately or sleep til ten and the only thing I accomplish that day is making food for myself, then I did what I was meant to do. 

Sometimes I just have to remember that everyday doesn't have to be GoGoGo but that, every now and again, I can stop and binge watch television shows on Netflix. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

"And now I'll do what's best for me." // unknown

89/365

I don't like when people devalue women. I did my senior project in high school on the women's roles during the Civil War, because it was important to me that people realized that, even when women weren't legally permitted to fight, they still did everything that they could to aid people around them. I know that men supposedly have built up our country -- that they are the ones who started everything we have, but the world rests on the shoulders of women. I'll tell you why.

Without men, there are no women. Women birth the future generations. We raise our children to understand the world for what it is and what it isn't. We enable our sons and (attempt to) encourage our daughters. Men have built our past but women are building our future.

Here is some truth that I want to drop on you real quick: women are literally the best thing that God ever created. Our bodies create new life; in our bodies we hold the potential of new generations. Rupi and Prabh Kaur are two sisters that approached the public view of female bodies and their magnificence in a series of photographs that they titled "Period." 

To the left is one of their photos, that stresses the beauty of the "ugly" parts of femininity. In the context behind the pictures, the sisters wrote this:

"in older civilizations this blood was considered holy. in some it still is. but a majority of people. societies. and communities shun this natural process. some are more comfortable with the pornification of women. the sexualization of women. the violence and degradation of women than this. they cannot be bothered to express their disgust about all that. but will be angered and bothered by this."

I think it is time that we start loving the parts of women that we don't think are pretty and instead focus on the negativity that we face for it. We should be more disgusted by the violence that women face, and less disgusted with their natural body processes. Love women for everything they go through, because at the end of the day, they went through all of it so that they could create you.

catch you later,
Karleigh

"A woman is a school. If you teach her, you teach an entire generation." // The Light in Her Eyes (2011)

88/365

I made the mistake of saying that Sundays would now be fitness themed. I am sadly not very good at exercise. I'm trying to make it a point to get better at it, and it would probably help if I liked it. This is the part I'm embarrassed about: I only exercised once this week.

I don't remember if I told you this last week or not, but I have an old yoga kit that was given to me. The people had never opened it so I took it all out last week and left it beside my nightstand. Now I avoid looking at it while I'm in my bedroom. I left my yoga mat at home this week, so at school I laid one of my grey blankets on the floor to cushion myself. This is horrifying. I was embarrassed and had to run and lock the door because I didn't want anyone to walk in on me lying on the floor in my pajamas on a grey blanket attempting to work out. 

I tried to follow along with Cassey Ho, a fitness instructor who has a YouTube channel called "Blogilates." I worked my way through her "What Makes You Bootyful Butt Challenge" and various different short videos for arm and back workouts. Cassey is super great to listen to and follow, because it feels like you're in a class while still being alone. This is great for me. I do not like people to see me workout, especially my mom. She attended a gym for a while and now knows everything about how I should set myself up on the mat. At the end of the day, I don't really want anyone to watch me get my exercise on. 

So, this last week was a bit of a fail in terms of me exercising because I was traveling so much. Hopefully this week I can get on track. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Train like a beast. Look like a beauty." // Cassey Ho

87/365

This week my online teacher sent out an announcement about our midterm. Now, this online class is basically an eight-week emergency class for me; so when she said we would have a study guide, I was thrilled. Then I received a follow-up email two days later saying that we wouldn't have a study guide and that we would need to just study the online notes. This is the worst thing ever. In college you do not often get study guides, but in online courses they are basically the key. Without a study guide, I have to make flash cards.

I have a love/hate relationship with flash cards because they are super helpful for memorizing but I don't ever feel like I really learn anything. So today, let's have a chat about how you can learn using flash cards. 

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First, you have to choose how you plan to make them. Some people like to flip the cards and others like them on their phone. Chegg has a great flash cards app that will totally save your life if you enjoy studying on your phone; it is also super handy because then you have your flashcards with you all the time. And it's free! However, if you prefer traditional cards then you should start by picking up a few packs for about fifty cents at Dollar General. 

 

Then gather your notes, some highlighters, pens and make a game plan. It's a great idea to color your cards based on your notes. Say you are studying another language and each word is either masculine or feminine. Write the word in your native language in the color that you want to match to masculine or feminine (ie family / la familia). Colors are a must with flashcards because your brain will piece the colors together with the information and it will be easier for you to remember.   

 

After you make your cards, then you have to actually study them. You can't just make them and forget it. Here are some tips for helping you study these better:

• Write the key word on the side without lines. It'll be easier for you to picture.
• Read your cards aloud. Literately read all of it aloud; even the stuff you already know.
• Be in a place with little to no noise. Music may be great in the background, but you have to take in a lot of information from these cards and you don't want to hinder yourself.
•  Do not write in cursive. It's easier for your brain to capture what you write when you write in normal handwriting.
• Read over them twice a day, if you can. 

I hope these help you if you are planning to use flash cards when you prepare for finals. There are fast approaching, folks. It's time to get down to business.

catch you later,
Karleigh

“Reading furnishes the mind only with materials of knowledge; it is thinking that makes what we read ours.” // John Locke

86/365

Recently, I've been choosing the next school I plan to attend. A lot of people know this already; I have constantly brought it up to people. I've asked where they would think I would go if they saw me on the street. I've worn different school shirts to see what people think. And let me tell you... it is a painful decision to make.

I live in a town divided. For my entire life it has always been between two schools. I've never had much of an opinion on either school, and I still have no swaying factor.

I'm writing this because maybe you are in the same position.

I have factored my family and close friends' opinions into my decision. It was not until recently that I spoke with one of my best friends about choosing and how I felt that I would disappoint certain people by not choosing their school. She told me that was dumb -- Thanks, babe! You were right. That was dumb to think.  My mother said this to me recently: "Don't factor people into your life when they don't factor you into theirs."

When the people that I was fearing disappointing chose to wear red and blue today, they did not consider me. When they make a decision that will be a huge step in their future, they do not factor me into their decision. So why should I factor them in to mine?

Basically what I am saying is follow your heart, as cheesy as that sounds. You have to do what feels right for you and not what people want you to do. You are the one who has to live in your future.

catch you later,
Karleigh

"Nothing will ruin your 20s more than thinking you should have your life together already."// unknown

85/365

If you know me at all, then you know that I am a massive One Direction fan. I have quite the love for those five boys and am rather invested in their career. It is with a huge weight in my stomach that I acknowledge that Zayn Malik has left One Direction. Last week, Zayn signed off of a few shows due to "stress," and just yesterday, their PR team made a statement on behalf of One Direction.

One Direction has worked non-stop for the past five years. From the day that they began they X-Factor Live Shows, they have been working. Every November they release an album and begin a tour in the following February. They constantly are involved in PR stunts (Don't tell me you believed that Harry Styles dated Taylor Swift because he liked her) and being flown all over the world. In my opinion, it is completely their team's fault that Zayn was driven to leave One Direction.

Zayn wrote in their statement that he has "to do what feels right in [his] heart." You cannot fault Zayn at all. His mental health has definitely suffered over these past few years, especially due to the constant harassment that he receives on Twitter due to his religion -- calling him a "terrorist" and encouraging young girls to believe what he does. Last year, a video was released of Louis Tomlinson, another member of One Direction, and Zayn smoking marijuana and talking about other drugs while in South America. This video and their substance use got mainly pinned on Zayn. One has to understand that this sort of blame and harassment plays a heavy part into Zayn's departure. 

Zayn cited his mental health and privacy as reasons to leave the band and most fans have been very supportive of his move. While they will miss Zayn, they look forward to seeing where One Direction heads to next. We will all miss Zayn's beautiful riffs on the album (and his gorgeous face on the stage), but we wish him the best.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“Life is funny. Things change, people change, but you will always be you, so stay true to yourself and never sacrifice who you are for anyone.”// Zayn Malik

84/365

Today has been a crazy assortment of 6+ hours of driving, lots of walking, and cool bits in the middle of all of it. I'm absolutely exhausted and all I want to do is cry about Zayn Malik leaving One Direction (which I think we will talk about tomorrow) and sleep until May. So, today I'm going to leave you with one of my favorite sonnets. Did you just remember how freaking weird I am? I did too. I'm sorry.

I love this sonnet. It's my absolute favorite and I memorized it when I was in the eighth grade -- test me next time you see me: do I still remember it? 

Anyway, here you go:

My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun; 

Coral is far more red than her lips' red;

If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun; 

If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.

I have seen roses damasked, red and white,

But no such roses see I in her cheeks;

And in some perfumes is there more delight

Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. 
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know 
That music hath a far more pleasing sound; 
I grant I never saw a goddess go; 
My mistress when she walks treads on the ground. 
     And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare 
     As any she belied with false compare. 

catch you later,
Karleigh

"The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find." // unknown

83/365

When you were younger and people were ugly to you in school, did you ever confide in your mother? Was her response 'kill them with kindness'? I'm willing to bet that it was.

A few months ago I was going out to eat with some people and as I left the car, I saw a girl who had been so ugly to me inside of the restaurant. I panicked. I couldn't face her. Hurriedly, I told my friends I couldn't eat there, that I had to leave.

I have to be honest about this. I am really ashamed that I didn't just go in there and eat.

That girl means nothing to me now. She isn't a friend or foe to me. She is just another person with which I happen to have a history. I should have faced my fear of her and just gone inside. What would she have really done? Come up and been ugly? Of course not. She probably would have just ignored me, like I would have done her.

Instead, I ran. And here is the thing that your mother didn't tell you when you were in grade school: You cannot run from the people who are ugly to you. People will always be ugly. There will always be someone who is not your biggest fan. And you'll always have to deal with them, whether it's at school or work or within your family.

Basically, what I am telling you in a really weird messed up way, is that when people are ugly you should give yourself time to calm down. And then I want you to realize that you being ugly back to them will do nothing. It will only make you bitter and angry and mean. And you don't want to be like that, you're way too great to be one of those people.

So the next time you run into your grade school enemy, shoot them a smile. You'll feel better

catch you later,
Karleigh

“A man with no enemies is a man with no character.”// Paul Newman

82/365

Have you ever heard the song "Take Me to Church"? You probably have; they play it on the radio constantly. Well, Hozier -- that's the writer/singer of that song -- is one of my new favorite musicians. He's got this wonderful bluesy voice that makes you almost feel like you should be watching him sing on the streets of Louisiana. During the entire month of December, were you to ride in my car, you would have heard his album on repeat. 

Today, he released a video for "Work Song," which is probably one of the most beautiful songs on the album. The lyrics sink deep within you and they make you feel things. Well, they make me feel things. So, since he released this video today, I thought perhaps we would analyze the song and the video a bit. Cut me some slack if you don't like analyzing -- I'm an English major and that's pretty much what I'm good at doing. 

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If you feel so inclined, you can go watch the video here. It's probably best, if you plan to keep reading, that you watch the video. Otherwise, I'm just spitting nonsense at you. 

Like in his video "Someone New," Hozier starts the video by singing "live" in what seems to be a small club. Again, this makes him feel bluesy. I don't know why... just go with it. And this couple starts to sway and then dance together as he sings. I have this thing for interpretative dance. I love it and I hate it. I'm always impressed by people that are able to dance, but I don't really care to watch it all the time. However, if you want to get emotion across and you want people to understand sensuality behind the words you are saying, you set it to dance. 

"Work Song" seems to be about this deep love that the speaker feels for another person, a love so deep that even in death, he would return to her from the grave. (This is both horrifying and beautiful. Don't you love when stuff is like that?) The sensuality and emotion that you find from the two dancers -- which turns into many couples, but not everyone in the crowd -- is definitely displayed well throughout the dance. The love that Hozier describes in his lyrics is one that you can imagine is not often shared between two people. He talks about being saved, so to speak, by his girlfriend and that she alone is enough for him. Perhaps this love is so deep and because it is, not everyone feels it. Maybe this is why everyone in the crowd doesn't dance. 

Hozier has a lot of depth in his lyrics and he portrays that depth through body language, which is good as a way to appeal to a larger audience. Most people understand body language and, by the dancers alone, could interpret that the song is one about the intensity of this undying love and how only certain people can feel it. At least, that's what I picked up from it...

catch you later,

Karleigh

"In the low lamp light I was free
Heaven and hell were words to me"

// Work Song, Hozier

81/365

If there is one thing about me that I'd like you not to know, it is that I am quite unfit. I do not eat right. I do not exercise. I should, but I don't.  It really odd how many people I know like me in this situation. I look at myself in clothes and to my reflection I say, "Man, I should really go work out. This just doesn't fit me right" or "I am fat and gross. I have to go to the gym. Pronto." And then what do I do?

I watch "Fresh Off the Boat" on Hulu and eat Pringles. 

So, I'm going to try and put some daily exercise into my life for the rest of the year. 2015 is still in its early parts and I can (and will) get my butt in gear. It might kill me to stop eating out so much but... 

I quite liked having a designated day for certain types of blogs. Maybe Sundays can be a day for a review on my fitness during the week. Maybe I'll take pictures of healthy things I eat or show you the videos I watched for my workouts. I don't really like gyms, because I don't feel like I fit in there. There just seems to be certain types of people in gyms... And those people are not me. So I'm going to stick to working out alone with YouTube videos. 

Hopefully I won't be coming back every Sunday to tell you guys how I didn't do so hot at working out that week. Maybe I can get my butt in gear this year.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Three months from now, you will thank yourself." // unknown

80/365

This was it -- the Glee finale. 

The first part of the finale started off with Kurt, who was my absolute favorite in the beginning. It shows a lot of how Kurt felt before coming out. He debated suicide and didn't have any friends. It tugged on my heart strings. I loved when he and Rachel sang Popular from Wicked. I definitely fell back in love with Kurt during this. Then the focus moved onto Mercedes. It's hilarious how they had to make them younger looking while they've finally gotten better looking. Rachel goes with Mercedes to church, which was adorable. Mercedes proved yet again that her voice is absolutely gorgeous. I've never heard a line that was so beautiful until Tina said, "My name is Tina Cohen-Chang and you don't care." You're right, Tina. I don't. I forgot that she faked her stutter -- how odd. I love Artie. He's so hilarious. It turns out that Mercedes does Glee club mainly for herself, but also to push Rachel down. Artie and Tina did it on a dare. Wowza.

Artie's audition song being "Pony" is so amazing. I'm in love with it. Rachel, of course, proves to be a little bit diva-ish (okay, a lot) and somewhat racist. This is so terribly hilarious. Also! I have missed seeing Rachel on her elliptical -- it's so motivating. Rachel is the best character because she desperately wants what she wants and she goes after it. Even though she sometimes takes it too far, Rachel does show the audience what it means to be driven. Then they see Blaine! I cannot believe Blaine and Kurt were in the same place long before they even met. This is so lovely. This may be the best episode of the entire season. 

At the end of the first hour of the two hour finale, Rachel talks about how this is the first time she's ever had friends. Her speech is so lovely. I'm so proud they all stayed in the Glee Club. They replayed the scene with the original six singing "Don't Stop Believing" and it so so beautiful. I miss Finn so much.

At this point, I was in tears. 

When the Present Day episode opened up, it showed that the Glee club made it to Nationals. New Directions win again, which is lovely. McKinley is being made into an arts school, which is so amazing. Schuester had such an influence. This is so lovely. And he gets to run the school. This is so lovely. I'm crying.

Three months later: The Schuester family is thriving and I'm thrilled. Also their little boy is precious. I'm so proud of the way this show is going. Rachel crying means I'm crying, just so you know. Also, Tina Cohen-Chang turned into a very pretty woman. Schuester throwing a kiss to Rachel and her mouthing "thank you" absolutely killed me. Blaine invites Sam to come out to New York. Sam comes back to coach the New Directions, which is wonderful.

Mercedes leaves first, off to be Beyonce's opening act. Who would have thought that? I actually also really love the friendship between Sue and Becky. It was the best part of Sue's character. They really hit the best parts when they sang Mamma Mia. The best part of this episode is that no one can actually say goodbye. They can sing together, but they can't give a farewell.

I'm dying. Sue is Vice President now? Blaine and Kurt are still together and still in love, which is nice. They both look a little like Liberace which is gorgeous (and gross. Liberace was gross). They also go to Harvey Milk school thing and sing "Daydream Believing" which is one of my favorite songs. I'm so thrilled with how they've aged. Blaine's hair is the best ever. Rachel sang "This Time" by Darren Criss and I was in tears, obviously.

Five years later, Tina and Artie are together. Rachel is pregnant. Blaine and Kurt are married and Rachel is their surrogate. I'm so thrilled. THIS IS EVERYTHING. Jesse and Rachel are married. Rachel is nominated for a Tony. I'm so excited. Everything is so lovely. Will and Emma have a ton of kids. The guy that announces the Tony was in another Ryan Murphy Show.

THIS IS THE MOST AMAZING MOMENT. Rachel won a Tony award. It was all she ever wanted. I am so terribly thrilled.

"Being a part of something special does not make you special. Something is special because you are a part of it."

Fall 2020: They are all in red, which makes me feel things because that seems to be their color. They dedicated the auditorium to Finn and my heart was hurting.

"See the world not as it as, but as it should be."

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Glee is about opening yourself up to joy." // Glee

79/365

Tonight is the series finale of Glee. I cannot believe that this show has been on for six years. I remember when they first advertised for it and I remember watching the first episode. I didn't like it. The singing and over-the-top characters weren't interesting to me. I changed the channel within the first fifteen minutes. 

Fast forward two years, I was in my junior year of high school. I knew people that watched Glee and I had an active Netflix account so I gave it another go. I kinda fell in love with it. The over-the-top characters and the singing were amazing to me. Maybe that's a show for how one can change over a two year time period.

Tonight, I have to say goodbye to Glee. Rachel, my favorite character and inspiration for my sense of style, will probably always be my favorite television creation. She offered a different way to look at beauty and showed that knowing what you want and going after it will always work in your favor. Glee taught me ways to love people. And above all else, it gave me an appreciation for music that I feel I didn't have before. 

I'm going to miss Glee. I suppose I'll have to find a new television show to watch or maybe I'll finally be able to get a boyfriend because I won't be so worried about fictional characters. It'll probably be the new television show, if we're being honest. Tomorrow, I'll give my thoughts on the two-hour finale but until then, I'm preparing myself for the end of the show. One hour to go.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"You're like a beacon of light guiding me through the darkness." // Finn Hudson

78/365

Did you know that I really enjoy writing papers? I remember writing my first research paper and actually liking it. It was a weird experience. I like writing papers, because they are an easy grade to me. However, to some people, writing papers is really hard. It's hard to sit down with a textbook, some secondary sources and Microsoft Word and be like: "Right, let's write about Oscar Wilde and the way he viewed society based on his writings." That's hard. So let's talk about how to plan a paper:

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Often teachers won't give the paper topics before you finish the reading, so it is important to identify the themes discussed in class, as well as the theme that the literature you've been reading seems to all fall under.Once you identify a theme, then you have a direction for your reading. You can identify certain points in the reading as you make your way through the text. Don't be afraid to highlight and underline in your book if you're able. Fold down corners. Use post-it notes as tabs so that you can always find the lines that you need to support your claim. When you finish reading a book for school, it should be marked up. A clean book means that you probably bought it and then read SparkNotes instead. (Don't do that.) 

After your professor gives out the topics, hash out some ideas. Think about the different ways that you could approach the topic. If you think you would be better by slightly altering the topic, ask to do so. Make sure your ideas are fresh, though. Don't just ask to change the topic so that it'll be easier. Easy papers don't help you learn. Now, you have to make an outline. Outlines are critical to me. If I make an outline, then I can take out the points and it is basically my rough draft. A good way that might help you is to write down your points on note cards and then move them around in the way you want to organize your paper. I don't personally do this, which is why I usually end up staring at my paper, wondering why things aren't flowing. If you want your paper to flow -- which you do -- make these note cards. I think they'll help you.

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Writing your paper is up to you. You may not be the best writer. You may have awful grammar, and commas may confuse you. If that's the case, do your best. Write as much as you can and then visit your writing center or have a friend read it. After you reread your paper six (plus) times, you don't notice the mistakes. A fresh pair of eyes will help with that.

Above all else, just plan ahead and take your time. Don't try to write a paper the night before. It'll be crap. If you put in crap, you're gonna get crap(py grades). Even if you misspell a lot of words and put in too many commas, at least you will have the majority of the work done. If you show up with most of your work done, people will be more willing to help you. Basically, you have to put effort into your papers. Do your best.

catch you later,
Karleigh

"Proofread carefully to see if you any words out." // unknown.

77/365

It is one of the saddest moments of adulthood when one realizes the pain of other people. As a child, one does not see the struggles of their peers and as we grow older, we try not to see them. It is hard to acknowledge the trials of the people that we interact with, but they are there. There are weeks and months, sometimes even years, when your friends or family or coworkers feel as if their world is crashing down. There is one thing that is important for you to remember after you realize this:

Be nice.

It's freaking hard to be nice all the time. I'm not going to sit and act like I am nice constantly. I have a sarcastic nature. I've been told I'm antagonistic -- which is true, I'm afraid. I can smile at you all day as we pass in the hall, but being super nice is something I have to actively do. But I try. 

And you have to, too. Ask someone how they are, smile at someone in the hall, compliment the kid that sits next to you in class. Reach out and show kindness. Not only will you receive kindness back from those around you, but perhaps the universe will recognize your kindness as well. Be nice just to be nice. Once you start doing it, once you start being nice, you'll realize it is a lot easier than being mean. Try it.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." // Socrates

76/365

Did you ever notice that our society is catered to certain people? Okay, so you may not agree with me on this one, but here we go...

Our society is built for white, upper middle class able-bodied cis-gendered heterosexual people with an average IQ. You could go deeper into this statement and realize that perhaps only 0.02% of the people in America are built this way -- probably less. I'm not good at guesstimating. 

It's hard to think about this. I mean... I'm white. I've never faced racism in my life. People don't follow me around a store because they think that I'm going to steal. They don't harass me because of my religion. No one has ever picked on me because of my sexuality. It's... if you think about the people that are facing these situations on a daily basis, it allows you to view the building of society and the way that it works differently.

I'm not saying things are going to change. They aren't. We are built to accommodate certain types of people in our society. 

I just... When you were a kid and it was Fathers Day or Mothers Day, did you ever ask why there wasn't a Kids Day?  I asked my mom once and she said, "Well, every day is kids day." You cannot complain about their being too many television shows with gay people or black people or Muslim people. Those people look for representation. You cannot let people think that they are the only ones. What you have to know is that there are all kinds of people. There are brown people that go to school with you. People in school with you whose family income is at poverty level. You have stood behind someone in the line at Chick-Fil-A who probably suffered from a mental illness. You will meet transgendered people. You already know gay people. We cannot hide the fact that America is not made up of the majority, but if we didn't have the minorities, we wouldn't have mathematics, classical music, or medicine.

I don't know what I'm trying to get across to you. I don't always agree with the way the world works or with the people around me. I was taught to love people. The Lord tells me to love people, to show them compassion as He did. I hope that I do that. I hope you do too. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. //  Micah 6:8 NIV

75/365

Today has been a mixture of ups and downs. I had to make some coffee this afternoon just to push myself to start all of my homework. We are officially on the downward slop to summer, though it feels like I'm still fighting an uphill battle with all of my assignments. It's hard to keep your mind fresh with school sometimes. Usually about this time, I'm desperate for new classes because I've grown tired of the ones that I'm taking at the moment. This rings true right now. 

This is one of those times, I guess, where you and I just have to keep pushing so that we can finally sleep late everyday and soak in the sun when we can finally venture outside again. This is the first year that I have longed for the sunshine and for summer to make its way back around. We'll get there eventually. We just have to push ourselves through these last eight to nine weeks of school. 

So, to keep myself motivated -- which usually involves me waking up on Monday and saying "Let's just make it through this week" each week -- I'm planning what I want to do this summer. Here are my top five things:

1. I want to read all of the books that I've marked on my goodreads account. I have spent the last few years avoiding reading what I want to read and just reading my assigned books in school, but I am finally getting back into the swing of reading for fun. I've missed it so much. So this summer, I definitely want to get back into the swing of making regular trips to Barnes and Noble to exchange my paycheck for loads and loads of books.

2. I want to write more. I have so many works started on my computer that I cannot finish because I'm too busy and when I'm not busy, I'm too lazy. I have to get my butt in gear and get to work on all of these things that I've started writings. 

3. I want to reorganize my bedroom. This has been a work in progress for me for a while. I live in two places right now, so I don't really get a chance to put a lot of work into my bedroom. Though I plan to live more at home next year so I should probably get to work on making it into what I want it to be.

4. Go outside a lot. I used to hate being outside. I'm allergic to a lot of things, like grass, trees and fun, which was fine because I always loved being inside. However, I'm thinking it's about time to soak in some Vitamin D especially since all I've been taking in the last few months are Vitamin I-Hate-Snow/Ice and Vitamin Gray-Skies-are-Horrible. So, I definitely need to get my behind in the yard this summer -- when it's not dangerous to be out there. Mississippi heat can kill, guys. Proceed into your backyard with caution.

5. Have some dang fun. I'm a square. There are no curved edge on me, so this summer I'm going to dig out my sander and fix that. I'm twenty years old and I spend way too much time worrying and thinking about silly things. I've got to learn how to have fun. In fact, maybe this should have been number one. 

So, we just have to make it through these last few weeks and then we can get down to business. Study your butt off so that when May finally makes its way here, you can relax, knowing that you did your best at the end of the year. You won't be in school forever. Try and have some fun -- not too much though. Save some of the crazy stuff for when you don't have an eight o'clock the next day.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Always maintain a kind of summer, even in the middle of winter." // Henry David Thoreau

74/365

Yesterday was Saturday and I forgot to blog about Glee. What is wrong with me? Well, we'll have to cover it today instead.

I came into this episode twenty minutes late so I don't really know much about the beginning, except from what I read online. Kurt and Blaine are headed back to New York. That's all I know.

It's finally time for sectionals and with the addition of the Warblers, the New Directions are ready. They are up against some weird bird school and Sue's Vocal Adrenaline. Every single performance was awful. I'm going to be honest; I made fun of a lot of parts of this episode. The best part was when the young kid, Myron?, dressed up as Maddy from Sia's "Chandelier" and came out dancing. I legitimately thought it was her. My mother got a good laugh at my expense when I was wrong. 

Either way, obviously the New Directions win, despite not really deserving it. 

In a spur at the end, Sue tells Mr. Schuester that she's constantly been trying to aid the Glee club. I don't really buy it and neither does he so that's alright. Jesse St. James comes back to offer Rachel a place to stay while she goes back to school in New York. They shared a lovely kiss that made me believe that maybe love is in the cards again for Rachel after the death of Finn. 

Overall, I'm excited for next week's two hour finale. I fear that tears will be involved.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"I'm getting a full ride to the University of California Los Angeles. Maybe you've heard of it. It's in Los Angeles." // Jesse St. James

73/365

I have never been in love, though I imagine it often. I have loved things and people, but not in such a way that it has inspired me, has captivated me. I have read many books and I do not enjoy love stories. I cannot find realistic parts to them and I cannot immerse myself into characters that are "not like everyone else." I have my own expectations of love, just as you do I'm sure.

There is something so horribly beautiful about being consumed with love, as people are in books and in movies. It's hard to imagine yourself in such a vulnerable position, to put your faith into someone so deeply. It's incredible that we are capable of such emotion, of such depth as people.

I have my own beliefs and opinions about certain things with love, just as you would. But love is so vivid, like a color you've never seen before. It captivates you and you long to see it again, to paint the walls of your mind with its rich tone. Then you will dwell within, just to bathe in its light. 

It's special. I don't like to question people being in love. Even children, teenagers who are in love after a few hours of a relationship status update on Facebook -- their love is real. Because isn't love just an overflowing feeling of euphoria, or is that just in movies? Love comes in ugly ways and beautiful ways. It's not always quick and it's not always easy. 

And because it is so hard sometimes to grasp and to admit, maybe we should not be so quick to judge the love between people.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world.” // Madeline Miller, The Song of Achilles

72/365

I love to write. Obviously, one doesn't just jump into a 365 day project without loving to write. I also love to read. I don't always have time or want to read all the time. Usually, I have to find something that really seems interesting, something that will really hold my attention. Now... I wonder this about other people: do you like for something you read to teach you a lesson?

You could argue that all books have lessons, like Greek myths. All Greek myths have lessons. The story of Icarus, for example, teaches one now to be overly ambitious. If you underestimate yourself, you will fail. If you overestimate, you will also fail. I love that myth, but that's beside the point.

Do you think that all stories teach a lesson? There isn't really a right or wrong answer. I suppose though that even if you don't necessarily learn something, you do gain a new viewpoint on a circumstance you have probably never experienced. I've read a lot of different books about different (sometimes ludicrous) things and they did not teach me a lesson, but taught me to appreciate my own life and perspective. Perhaps a story doesn't always teach you a lesson per say, but it teaches you something -- even if it was a minute something.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, and hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new and different sun." // Christopher McCandless

71/365

It's Thursday and if you've been on twitter or instagram today, you know what that means. It's time for a throwback Thursday! I'm actually pretty fond of these because, like I've said before, I love looking at old pictures. About two years ago, I sat down and organized all of my baby pictures so that I could eventually put them into some picture books. I adore picture books, which is a bit weird I think...

Anyway, today I give you bratty Karleigh refusing to pose for pictures that her mother probably paid too much money for. I don't know why they chose a sepia tint, but maybe they sensed my love for old things even when I was (maybe) three years old.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Be in love with your life. Every minute of it." // Jack Kerouac

70/365

I love studying. Or... well, I love the idea of studying. I'm the best student in the beginning of the year because I'm still maintaining the illusion of productivity. I get a bit lazy later with studying. However, I have learned from my own mistakes plenty of times. If you want to do well, it is better not to just memorize the material the night before. It's both harder and easier in college, because the want to study comes in classes that correlate with your major. The required classes, like the maths and histories, maybe aren't as fun to take because you don't need them for your biology or English degree. So, how do you make studying easy (and fun)? 

photo; http://universityandme.info

Well, you have to start with a plan. Say I have a test in my British literature class and I already know some of the options for the discussion questions. First, I have to make a list of the way I should plan -- it does work best if you snack and plan at the same time, as in the picture to the left. With literature, I like to reread material if I can; I always reread poetry and short stories that are less than twenty pages. If you aren't an English major, there is no use in you rereading all the material unless you feel the need -- or if you never read it at all. You should always read the material that will be on your test, even if you didn't read it for the class discussion. So in making my plan, I would start with rereading the poetry and go over the notes that I made on it, be they in the book or on paper. As I reread, if I find something conducive to my discussion questions, I would plan to mark it with a post-it tab so that I can find it later. Then I would plan to go back to my tabs and make notes under the question options so that I can map out an answer to those questions. Now, that I've planned out my studying, I can move on to the actual studying. 

photo; http://hscya-later.tumblr.com

Believe it or not, studying actually begins in your classroom. When you go over material in class, it is extremely important to listen to everything. No one can take notes the way you do. Everyone writes notes differently and everyone understand their notes best. I am so anal about my notes and I take notes differently in each class. I write down everything. Other people may not have to. I take obsessive notes in my history class and I know people that listen and don't have to study. It depends on the person. However, you should always be sure to mark parts of text that your professor mentions because those are usually what you want to know, what will show up later. Take a hint from the photo to the right. The more you mark in your book, the better. You'll be thankful for highlighting that line when you get asked to explain its significance later.

Beyond those things, like making a plan for studying and studying along the way, I don't know of many other ways that works for me. I'm horribly guilty of studying the night before and trying to swallow as much information as possible so that the next day I can spit it all out onto my test. I'm working on not doing that and maybe you need to as well. If so, let me know if these help you. I'll definitely be putting them more into practice in the last eight weeks of my sophomore year.

catch you later,
Karleigh

"Always go too far because that's where you'll find the truth." // Albert Camus

69/365

I had the most awfully feeling this morning because I thought that I had neglected this blog yesterday. I was fairly frantic as I tried to make sure that I had posted on here. It's so crazy writing on here everyday. It would be such a let down to me if I forgot or quit. You see, I'm not a person that starts and sticks to a task. I tried every sport when I was little and I quit all of them. It's different, though, now that I'm writing everyday. Writing, for me, is a lot different than throwing/hitting/kicking a ball. 

Writing is cathartic. When I have a lot of feelings that I can't really confront, I can write about them on the sly, and it helps me come to terms with what's going on in my head. My blogs are always about how I'm feeling or what I think. And... it's hard to write about things that are going on with me that involve other people, because if they read the post, then the post is about them. I'm not trying to be passive-aggressive. I'm not going to write about one person. I wait for the events in my life to build upon one another so that I'm not calling out someone.

Basically, what I'm saying is that my blog is an act of self-care. By writing everyday about what's going on with me or what I'm feeling, I'm helping myself. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings. I'm not trying to make you text me after and ask me what's wrong. I'm just writing these for myself, so that in a few years I can read them again and maybe learn from the decisions that I made. At the end of the day, these blogs are for me. 

 

catch you later,

Karleigh 

“One hears it a lot on airplanes: 'Make sure you have your own mask on, before helping others with theirs'.” // Daniel Handler [Lemony Snicket], upon being asked ”What’s your very best life advice?”

68/365

I am the queen of feeling guilt for no actual sin. I can and will feel guilty about anything and everything. If I said something that might have offended someone, I will feel guilty. I can do something completely normal, something that is in no way bad, and feel guilty about it because I never thought I would do it.

I think in these cases, even like the one that I experienced a few days ago, sometimes you have to recognize that doing something made you feel bad -- even if it wasn't necessarily a bad thing -- and that you don't want to do it again. Some things that are really popular amongst your friends, or even just your peers, are not always the best choice for you. You will find that all of your friends' morals are just a little bit different than yours. Everything that you have leveled as good/okay/bad, they have leveled differently. That doesn't mean that they are wrong for doing it -- if they aren't hurting themselves or anyone else, then don't worry about it -- but sometimes what's right for other people and what fits the personality and choices of other people does not fit you.

And that's okay. Recognize your guilt. Apologize to yourself (and others, if needed). Learn from your experiences. Move on.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"You'll end up very disappointed if you grow up thinking everyone has the same heart as you do." // unknown. 

67/365

Today is March 8th, which is recognized as International Women's Day. There's a lot of history behind the female sex; fighting and protesting for rights has constantly been a part of the life of women. Whether a girl is young or old, she has faced a feeling of inferiority in the comparison of women and men. Words that are used as insults have originated in the female body. "Like a girl" is often tagged onto something that is deemed weaker. 

How dare society insinuate that the way that my chromosomes were arranged makes me a weaker person. How dare my sex devalue my work in such a way that I am not worthy of the same wages as a man. How dare they say that the way I dress means that I am asking for my rights over my body to be taken away. How dare I be a woman at all.

When you have children, remind your daughters of their importance. Recognize their abilities. Praise their emotions -- encourage them to feel everything fully. Never let them think that they cannot succeed. Show them that being a woman is lovely. Show them that being a woman is hard. Let them know of your difficulties. Teach them how to defeat the men -- and God forbid, other women -- that push them down. Build a better generation of women.

Please take a moment today, and every day forward, to notice the women before you. Recognize their strengths. Take note of their accomplishments. And, if you are male, perhaps you will notice that she was moving at the same pace that you were but you never took the time to notice because you did not see her as competition. And while you did not acknowledge her, she has beaten you at a competition that you created.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“'You'll find another.' God! Banish the thought. Why don't you tell me that 'if the girl had been worth having she'd have waited for you'? No, sir, the girl really worth having won't wait for anybody." //  F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

66/365

These new kids just aren't as good as my original Glee club. They can't put on a show like the others could. Oh my goodness. Dalton burned to the grown and Blaine is so upset. So, Mr. Schuester invites the Warblers to join the New Directions. Jane is obviously upset because she was denied entrance into the Warblers.

Sue is out to destroy the glee club. I can't stand her. SO SHE GETS FIRED. Becky Jackson lets all of her secrets out and Sue is left a joke in Ohio.

There is thirty minutes of this episode left. We've spent the entire first half on Sue. Please stop this insanity.

Finally, here's Rachel. I want Rachel to go back to school so bad. She deserves to get her education and to do her best. Oh my gosh! Now she's gonna be on Broadway again. BEAUTIFUL. I am with Sam; Rachel should definitely go back to school. They sang a song written by Darren Criss, which was lovely.

I don't know where Glee is going after this episode, but I'm not digging it right now.

catch you later,
Karleigh

"Don't believe everything Becky Jackson tweets." // Sue Sylvester

65/365

A long time ago, I went to Spain. It feels like a long time ago, but really it was only about three or four years. I never wanted to study Spanish in school. I always preferred French (and still do) but when I got the opportunity, I had to take it. It was a really lovely time and I'll never regret going -- obviously. Below, I'm in front of a castle -- I wish I could remember the name of it. I can't believe I was standing in front of an actual castle.  I have a bad habit of falling in love with architecture. The way a building was built and how it decays draws me in. I love visiting historical buildings, mainly for this reason.     One of the main things that really thrilled me in Spain was the architecture -- especially when we got to see an aqueduct built before Christ. I just really love old things. I also really love traveling. So, it doesn't really matter that I would have preferred learning French, because I had the time of my life while being abroad. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before." // Dalai Lama

64/365

You know in your literature class when the teacher will cover a brief history of an author before moving into their works? That is one of my favorite parts of the class. To understand the literature, you must know the author. Writers use personal experience in their writing so that situations and words are real -- so that when you read them, they feel real. It would be awfully hard to write about vampires if you weren't in a relationship with one, right? 

Wait... what do you mean vampires aren't real? They are all over everything you pick up to read. OH. Oops. That was a few years ago. Now, we have people telling of their experiences in dystopian societies. Okay, so obviously fiction books aren't always based on real life situations. Sometimes authors add in supernatural elements because they just happen to know a lot about them or because they have a very vivid imagination.

When I read the Twilight books, I remember reading that the author had come up with the plot during a dream. I'm still waiting to dream up a good idea for a book. Anyway, I'm really just sharing information with you guys more than anything. I just enjoy knowing about authors. Recently, after finishing The Picture of Dorian Gray, I've been reading up on Oscar Wilde. He was quite clever and had a bit of crazy experience during his life. In reading of his trials, you can almost understand his work better. So, maybe next time you pick a book, look up their author as well. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

"I am not young enough to know everything." // Oscar Wilde

63/365

There are two things that I have always loved: bed and television. I was looking through some old pictures of me the other day and I came across some gems. So, in lieu of telling you how awesome you are, I'm going to take a trip down memory lane.

Wasn't I a doll? Truly, I was. Despite the awful bedclothes from the 90s, this is the most adorable picture. I was obviously exhausted after a long day at the office and decided to chill out in the bed while catching up on some episodes of Barney. I wonder what he got up to that week.

Don't you hate when you can't figure out the remote? I know this one must have had a few tricks up its sleeve. Or maybe the buttons were just super tasty... Who knows! All I do know is that my love for staying in bed and watching television has not diminished over the years.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“I love you. You love me. We're a happy family. With a great big hug..." // Barney

62/365

You can just do things for recognition. You can throw yourself into a project and spend hours on a task all for a few moments of someone telling you how great you are. That's a real thing. You can do something just to say you did it.

And I'm sure you've done that before. I know that I have.

It's nice to say you helped an old lady cross the street or that you spent hours dishing out groceries at the food pantry. But do you really do it -- do you really help someone -- if you aren't being fully selfless? Sure, that old lady made it across the street safely and that family got their groceries, but are you really helping? Or are you just doing it because you feel like you have to? 

I like the anonymity in this photo because that is what it should be like when you help others. You don't need people to know who you are or see you helping. You just need to do it. You just need to help people. That's what we're here for. You have to be willing to want to help other people. Sometimes, we spend a lot of time wanting people to see us doing good works. However, maybe it is actually when no one sees you do that good deed, that you really did it.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Character is doing the right thing when nobody's looking." // J.C. Watts

61/365

I will never need you to tell me to relax. There are a lot of times when people will hear you getting excited or flustered or angry, and they will attempt to belittle your feelings. I don't understand this at all. I do not need you to calm me down. I don't need you to help me relax. 

You see, when you tell me to relax, it does not make me relax.

In fact, it enrages me. 

I do not like the idea that belittling emotions -- or not suffering from emotions -- makes you superior to someone else. Why would you not want to fully experience something? It is okay to laugh and to cry. It's okay to be happy, to be sad, and to be angry. There is no wrong emotion, because emotions are unique. I experience happiness differently than you do. You experience sadness differently than I do. 

Feelings are what make us human, and when you take away emotions, then you eliminate diversity. 

So, basically, stop telling people to relax. Stop making fun of people for being excited or sad or mad or any other emotion. Encourage them to feel fully. And while you encourage them, you should try to feel everything too.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Don't let someone who has done nothing tell you how to do anything." // unknown

60/365

You may find love so much more beautiful when you compare it to something simple. Last night, I was watching "A River Runs Through It" and, to be honest, I am often captured by beautiful films. It is safe to say that I was quickly drawn into the beauty of fishing and the journey of two brothers on two different paths. Sometimes, we find things in movie that relate to our own lives even when we don't exactly understand the situations.

I think that must be what makes a film -- when you can really feel emotion between the characters and in the story. In the film, the family struggles to accept Paul, as he is in a ridiculous amount of debt and continuously finds himself in trouble. At the end of the film, Norman and Pauls' father says, "We can love completely without complete understanding."

It's hard to love people all the time. We often make mistakes and often our mistakes make it difficult for us to be loved by a lot of people. However, you have to remember that if you take the love out of our relationships then they aren't really relationships. Remember to love people, no matter how hard it can be. 

catch you later,
Karleigh

"We can love completely without complete understanding." // A River Runs Through It