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I've never been much of a wedding girl. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted kids -- except for that time when I didn't -- and I've wanted the "traditional" type of family. However, I haven't really ever imagined my wedding. I have a good deal of female friends who can tell me their bridesmaids, size/cut (not sure of the difference) of their ring, and every detail of their wedding dress. And I'm left over here admiring the courthouse wedding. Weddings are a little scary to me. I've only ever been to two, unless you count the ones that I've watched on TLC. Then it's more than two.

It wasn't until I got a Pinterest account that I realized that some people actually obsess over weddings. That's so insane to me. I think that's probably perfectly normal though, especially for people that watch Hallmark movies. You know who you are. 

I just have never been one to imagine that part of my life. I'm not like Morello, from Orange is the New Black, who fantasized about her wedding day from five years old. I guess that changes when you meet someone you want to marry or maybe it changes when you find the perfect wedding dress/ring/location. I'll let you know when I find out.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“Oh I don't mind going to weddings, just as long as it's not my own...” // Tom Waits

180/365

I really do not like Facebook. I think it's just a place for people to rant and rave over things and it has no actual purpose beyond sharing pictures and "reconnecting" with old friends. The thing about Facebook is that it was fun when it started. I remember making my Facebook and setting it all up and doing everything to make sure that people knew what I was interested in, like liking way too many pages. I used to post song lyrics as my little status updates, which led to some people calling my mother because they thought that I was depressed. Then I felt a little bullied on Facebook and I got off of it. I deleted my account because it really screwed with my mental health. 

It wasn't until about two years later that I had to recreate it so that I could keep up with something for college. Now, I use it for this blog alone. It's a great, easy way for me to share this with people in a sorta direct way. I feel like I will probably delete my Facebook again in a couple years.

There is a lot of grossness that comes with Facebook. You'll see the craziest things pop up on your timeline and, if you are like me, you'll go and unfollow, or even unfriend, that person because it is so outrageous. You can't believe all of the articles that come up on your Facebook feed and you can't trust the stuff that other people talk about on their accounts. Do your own research on the topics that people talk about. I just think Facebook is awful, but if you want an opinion from someone who likes Facebook, go give this a read.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"The enduring benefit of Facebook is the carefully curated friends roster." // Gemma Styles

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The following quote is from Heroines by Kate Zambreno. I saw it last night when I was browsing and wanted to share it with you guys.

"If I have communicated anything to you I hope it is the absolute urgency to write yourself, your body, your own experience. The absolute necessity for you to write yourself in order to understand yourself, in order to become yourself. I ask you to fight against your own disappearance. To refuse to self-immolate. Or to launch yourself as a burning, glorious spectacle into outer space. To scratch yourself out and begin again, to die and resurrect." 

catch you later,
Karleigh

“Once you figure out who you are and what you love about yourself, I think it all kind of falls into place.” // Jennifer Aniston

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Tonight is Miss Mississippi so I decided that I should get myself in shape to watch it. My logic is that I can't get upset over my swimsuit body if I worked out today. Doesn't that make sense? Anyway, I dusted off my yoga mat and watched the video below. You are supposed to repeat the exercise three times to get the full workout but my body was begging me to stop... Actually, it was probably telling me to keep going but I got really tired. So, I'm going to just work up to doing it three times to get the full workout. 

It's been a long time since I've talked to you guys about working out and that's because I've been really bad at it lately. I'm just not a working out person, at least not like I would like to be. I did go walking for about three weeks earlier in the summer but the heat advisories kinda put a stop to that. 

While I'm not the best at keeping up with exercising, I do try and do it every now and then when I get really annoyed with how all of my clothes fit and stuff. I put in my two-weeks notice for work a few days ago so that will give me more time to get ready to go back to school and maybe some more exercise time as well. Or maybe I'll just eat my way to August.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.” // Neil Armstrong

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The Supreme Court ruled on same-sex marriage today and voted 5-4 that same-sex marriage would be legal throughout the entire country. I'm in a state of disbelief honestly; I didn't think that this would happen anytime soon. I cannot believe that one day my children will come home and ask me if I knew that at one point gay people couldn't get married. That time in our history will be compared to the segregation of blacks and whites. My children will be happy to have grown up in a different time.

A lot of people are going to be so upset, but there really is no actual argument against gay marriage. You can claim a religious difference with it and you refuse to acknowledge it yourself but I want you to think about this. I knew someone who was trying to argue against gay marriage in a paper. She was frustrated because she couldn't find any actual evidence to use in her argument. This is because there is no actual, logical reply to same sex marriage. You can only really argue your religion against it.

It isn't fair to deny same-sex couples the right to the same rights that heterosexual couples have when they get married. Whether you disagree with the passing of same-sex marriage, you have to acknowledge that these are huge strides for our country. We are moving foward with human rights and that is very important. I'm always going to believe that God loves everyone and, as someone who loves God, it is also my job to love everyone.

catch you later,

Karleigh

Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. // 1 John 4: 7-8

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I have an obsession with television shows with characters that have serious problems. I don't mean like Hannibal-like problems or Bates Motel-like problems, but regular, real-life problems. That's one of the reasons that my mom and I started watching Shameless. I'd seen it advertised a few times and we rented the first three seasons on Netflix and then took a bit of a break from it for a while. We picked it back up last week. Shameless is the television series with which you wish you didn't relate. The family is extremely messed up. 

Frank, the father of seven children, is an alcoholic. He's known to pass out in random gutters in the south side of Chicago and is often found by the police and carried back home at random hours. He doesn't take care of his children and he doesn't care about their problems, so someone has to step into his role. Cue Fiona, his oldest daughter, is a twenty-something girl with too much responsibility and a multitude of boyfriends and jobs. She wants really desperately to provide for her family but she's just irresponsible. She doesn't know what a relationship is if there is no lying, cheating or hiding. She struggles a lot throughout all of the seasons.

Lip, the oldest boy, is absolutely brilliant and more responsible than Fiona. He receives a full ride to The University of Chicago and has trouble with the knowledge that he can do so much better than everyone thought that he could. Then there is Ian, who is gay and struggles with bipolar disorder and tries to steal an army helicopter after faking his way into the army. Carl loves fire and girls. He's twelve. He definitely has some problems coming his way.

Debbie and Liam are the last two babies, beyond Frank's oldest daughter Sammi. Debbie struggles with being a thirteen-year-old virgin, apparently a rarity. She wants to be older, to be seen as an adult. Everyone, well every girl, knows that it's hard to transform mentally from girl to woman when your body is already half-way there. Liam is the tiniest, barely three and just recently he snorted

some of Fiona's cocaine and nearly died. Don't worry; he lives. Sammi is only brought into the picture when Frank needs a new liver, as his one is killing him, and she's the same blood type and has too many daddy issues to understand that he's just using her.

Overall, Shameless is a show that acknowledges some of the problems in poverty-ridden families. It's hard to be normal and to be functioning like you are "supposed to" when you don't have money. Also the characters are amazing and you can't help but root for them all (except Frank) because you want them to realize that they are a lot better than the slums of Chicago. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

"There's always gonna be people that are going to try and fix us and you can never make those people happy, like it breaks their heart just to look at you." // Monica

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I only recently started wearing bikinis and by recently, I mean around three or so years ago. I'm not that much of a swimmer, but if someone offers, I'm not going to say no. The problem with this is that my swimsuits are older and when I first started wearing bikinis, I didn't know how to pick one that would work best for me. I have a very cheap bikini from TJMaxx and one that is way too expensive from Buckle. Obviously three years ago, I only worked on an extreme scale. Now, I'm looking into maybe buying another swimsuit. For some people, swimsuits are just something they need because they have a pool or they go on a lot of vacations. I would like to be one of these people in the future. As it so happens, swimsuits are an investment for me at the moment. I don't go swimming all the time and I haven't been to the beach since I was about eleven. I'm twenty. You can do the math.

So now I'm trying to take a look around some stores and find a bikini that I like and that fits me well. But before I go and really consider one, I watched this video on bikinis for different body shapes. I'm going to leave it below because, if you are like me, then you probably should watch it to make sure that you don't pick a swimsuit that looks great in the dressing room lighting but makes you look like a plank of wood when you go to the pool. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

“There is nothing more rare, nor more beautiful, than a woman being unapologetically herself; comfortable in her perfect imperfection. To me, that is the true essence of beauty.” // Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

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I had a friend that said that she had no regrets; however, there were a lot of things in her past that, were they in mine, I would regret. I can't share them, obviously, since they're personal to her. The point is that regrets come in a lot of different forms and fashions. I don't have any big regrets (yet), but I do have some smaller, nearly insignificant regrets. 

I learned to shave when I was in around the fifth grade. Maybe I was around ten or eleven, maybe younger because my grandmother was alive. I'm not really sure. Anyhow, I had a friend that had just learned to shave her legs. She was the youngest of four siblings and I found her to be very influential. I wanted to be like her. So, she came over and was showing off her legs and told me that it was time for me to shave as well. I'm pretty sure that the hair on my legs wasn't any kind of problem but I believed her and decided to shave my legs. My mother was at work, so I called her up and asked if I could go ahead with the plan. I remember her telling me that she "would rather I wait for her to get home." I, being the same mule of a girl that I am now, went ahead and shaved my legs before she got home. 

To this day, I absolutely regret not learning to shave from my mother. It is so stupid to regret something like this. I have experienced many things with my mother. She teaches me something new everyday, only now it's not how to do something. She teaches me in a completely different way than she did when I was eight years old. Anyway, the thing about regrets is that they are different to every person. I happen to regret the tiny things, nearly insignificant to others. My friend didn't regret the big things or the tiny things. Now, the funny thing is that we both wouldn't change a thing about the parts of our lives that we regret or don't regret. They are what make us... us.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“Of all the words of mice and men, the saddest are, "It might have been.” // Kurt Vonnegut

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Around two years ago, I was with some people that I was friends with at the time. She knew about some history that I had with one girl and how I felt about her and all of that background stuff. Anyway, we were at a show thing and the girl that I didn't really like sat in front of us with her friends. I wasn't too fond of her friend and I didn't know the other one. I think sometimes you have to be honest with yourself about people with whom that you don't get along. Not everyone is meant to be friends -- and it turned out that the girl that I was with and I were not meant to be -- and not all personalities match up.

That being said, there is never an excuse for you to be unreasonably mean to someone just because you don't get along. I find that you just avoid their company, and if you are out with them in a group, to just acknowledge them in an adult fashion. Being polite to someone you do not like does not make you a fake person; it makes you a polite adult. That's not a typo. I really want you to understand that line and take it with you when you exit out of this window.

To finish off the story, the girl that I didn't like and I had a chat about the thing that we were watching while my friend watched me as if she was so upset. It was like I was supposed to avoid speaking to her, to ignore her, act like she wasn't even there.  You cannot ignore your problems or the people that you do not like. You can treat them like actual people and be polite to them when you see them. I remember leaving with her and she said, "I didn't realize you were fake. You were being so fake just then, acting like you liked her." I hope that that girl realizes that being fake is not synonymous with being polite to people that I don't like.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Surround yourself with people who make you hungry for life, touch your heart, and nourish your soul." // unknown

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Today is my mother's birthday, so I think I'm just going to share something that I remember from a few years ago with you guys.

When I was sixteen-ish, I had to have surgery to fix my deviated septum. I had scheduled the surgery once before, gotten very scared and then had to cancel it. A year later, we tried again. I remember telling my teachers that I wasn't going to be in school the two days before Thanksgiving and then going home on a Wednesday. My mom took us up the road and we went out to eat and to a movie. It was really weird for us to do that on a school night, even though I wasn't going to school the next day. I can't remember where we ate, though I do remember the movie. On the way home, I asked my mother why she had taken me out to do all of that stuff.

She told me that she didn't want me to over think the surgery, to scare myself out of it. At sixteen, I probably couldn't verbalize my appreciation. At twenty, I can't really do that either. I've never known anyone like my mother. She has never stopped being the best person in my life and I don't think she ever will.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"No man is poor who has a Godly mother.” // Abraham Lincoln

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The most empowering moment of your life might be when you realize how lovely you are. It took me a long time and it kinda comes in phases. I'll be doing something and catch a glimpse of myself or think something about myself and go "Wow. I'm awesome" or "Man, I'm beautiful." 

It can be a problem too, because you don't want people to think that you are conceited or narcissistic. You can think you are beautiful without being those things. You can remind yourself how awesome you are and how beautiful you are and still be humble about it. 

I don't really know. Just make sure you take the time to tell yourself how wonderful you are. Do it everyday and all of a sudden, it'll become a habit. And then you'll always remember how beautiful and amazing you are.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.”  // Confucius

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I don't remember hearing about so much terrorism and natural disasters when I was younger. Of course, one could argue that these kind of things happen in cycles or maybe that I was just too young to pay attention to the news. Both could be very true. All the time, people try and say that our depravity is leading us to death and that we are constantly killing ourselves. None of this is really untrue. However, I wonder how awful we are while we create such wonderful things and are able to do so many things medically, economically and socially. Whether you want to acknowledge it or not, we are actually advancing just as much as we are declining. We just do it in different areas.

The other night, a white boy entered a church in South Carolina with the intent to kill as many black people as possible. Now, before you tell me that he was mentally ill or he just got caught up in a bad crowd, I would like for you to explain the fact that he had so much ammunition to reload his weapon five times. Tell me how this was just one "violent outburst" and that he was normally such a nice, quiet guy.  Explain to me how he was arrested peacefully when, not a month ago, a fifteen year old girl in a swimsuit was thrown on the ground by a policeman three times her size when a parent called the authorities because there were "too many black kids" at a local pool party.

I told you before that we had come a long way in a lot of areas in our daily life. I would like to kindly remind you that racism is alive and it is killing our black youth. Racism calls a twelve year old little boy a "thug" while calling a twenty-something year old man "mentally ill." We grant white people a different route, something easier, while we give black youth absolutely nothing.  Do you see the problem? Have you noticed a problem when you turn on the news? Start paying attention. Do not be "color-blind," but see it. Notice that there are different races of people and that they are all beautiful. Acknowledge that, though we have advanced in a lot of ways, racism is still here.

catch you later,
Karleigh

“As you grow older, you'll see white men cheat black men every day of your life, but let me tell you something and don't you forget it - whenever a white man does that to a black man, no matter who he is, how rich he is, or how fine a family he comes from, he is trash.” // Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

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I went swimming today. I used to love swimming when I was little. Although I don't really remember playing in the water, but I do remember my mother swimming while I held onto her back. Maybe that's why I like to hold on to people while they swim now. For a long time, I didn't go swimming. I can't actually swim, just doggy paddle and tread water. Swimming is pretty fun until you come home and realized that you're sunburned. You know what else I remember from when I used to go swimming? That I always wanted to nap after it. Maybe that's what I'll go do now.

catch you later,

Karleigh 

“She’s got oceans tucked away in her hair, poems swim under her skin.” // Sanober Khan

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You know what I can't stand? Girl on girl crime. Now, I don't mean crimes in a way as in murder or stuff like that. I mean when girls cannot let other girls live happily. You already know, that as a woman, we struggle with a lot of things. We are constantly told to fix these things and wear these things and don't say these things and if we are lucky, someone will find us attractive. Then, and only then, can we be truly happy. 

When you walk down the street and see a girl with shorts on and you think that they are too short, you can just acknowledge to yourself that you wouldn't wear them. You don't have to say that she's "asking for it" or that she "looks like a slut." Do you know that the word "slut" is so derogatory? And it can't be used for men? Why do we use it? Why would you put down a girl who probably put those shorts on and felt cute? What she wears has nothing to do with you. You have no say and frankly you don't deserve a say. It's not your body. They're not your clothes. Keep your mouth shut when you think about telling other women what to do. 

You know already, that it is hard for people to respect us. They find us too emotional, too impressionable. Don't let the media and men influence the way that you see your fellow woman. And don't ever forget that your capri pants and t-shirt can get you in a dangerous situation just as quickly as her short skirt and high heels can. Please help your sisters out. Love them. Don't do to them what men do to all of us. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

“There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women." // Madeleine Albright, former United States Ambassador to the United Nations

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When I got home from Chicago, I wasted no time logging into my Netflix account. Orange is the New Black released its third season on June 11, which was early, and I had been dying to get my hands on it. I'm going to tell you the worst bit before I tell you the best bit. It sucks that this

show gets released all in one go so I can't do any waiting and anticipating. I can't guess what's gonna happen, because I can literally watch it all in one day. Now, it is amazing because I can watch it all in one day and I don't have to wait and wait and hope and everything. I might spoil some stuff, so if you have been watching but haven't gotten to the third season, I don't suggest reading on. If you haven't seen any of it, your mind will be blown so hard from seasons one and two that you won't remember any of this so you're safe.

Now, I got bored with Piper and Alex during the first two seasons. You can only have so much "we-have-issues-that-we-have-to-sort-through-while-cheating-with-each-other." That got old very quickly. So it's good that the show focuses on the other characters. I was personally very upset with Nicky's obsession with the heroin and her inability to shake her addiction. I can't help but want for her to come back, since I got quite attached to her character. It's hard to shake the "no-one-comes-back-from-max" but I know that maybe Nicky does better with the extreme cut off. I think her story must show what addiction is really like; even after you cut it, it's still stuck in you ... sorta like when a tick bites you and you pull it off but the head is still stuck. Maybe addiction is like that.

Poussey continues to be a constant source of love and honesty that really keeps the spirit up. It's like even through her bad stuff, like her obvious struggles with alcoholism and her loneliness, she maintains a positive vibe that really makes it hard to dislike her. And that's fine because she hasn't done anything that would make me hate her. Also, I'm very interest in what could be a budding relationship between her and Soso. Speaking of Soso, Brook went through a ton of crap this season. She faced a serious depression, that was really looked over by the guards, and she attempted suicide. It really makes you hate LeAnn, who we found out was from an Amish community. I can't really say much about her because her actions really don't cut it to me.

Also, what the crap was Norma, the new Jesus, thing about? A little too Jonesboro for me, if I'm honest. I have some iffy feelings about Norma. I want to constantly tell Red not to trust her. Red and Healy gross me out, as well. I don't like Healy. He's everything-phobic. That's the best way to describe him. Also, after having to hear about girls asking to be raped, I was pretty horrified by Dogget -- or Pensatucky -- thinking that she ever deserved what happened to her. I really am glad that she got away from the creep guard but I'm worried about Maritza, because she took her place.

There were a lot of smaller stories that I could talk about, like Morello's wedding, Sophia being put in seg, Alex being chased by Kubra crew. Also how I totally questioned my sexuality when Ruby Rose was put on the show. Seriously? It's like she's a whole new level of gorgeous. Anyway, when does the next season come out? I'm dying to know what happens.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Trust no bitch." // Stella, Orange is the New Black

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To be honest, I spent the entire day on my couch watching Orange is the New Black and eating cheap Chinese food. Chicago wore me out and Orange is the New Black just put out the third season. I think maybe we should just talk tomorrow. We'll probably talk about how I feel about this season as I am definitely going to finish the show tonight. Who knows?

catch you later,

Karleigh

"What if she's mean and likes Coldplay or something?" // Orange is the New Black

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I'm on my way back home from Chicago today. It's been a nice two days in the city and I think I'd like to visit Chicago again. Maybe in a few years with a few more days to explore. I love to explore cities, especially ones with so many hidden gems. That's the best part about cities; you can stay there forever and still not know about something because it's such a well kept secret. Maybe they save that stuff, the gems, for the residents only. I'm not sure but I do know that even where I live, there are places that are unknown to me. 

I've had a good time in Chicago and I think it will find a place on my "to visit again" list. 

catch you later,

Karleigh 

"It was a world full of feelings that I didn't have words for yet." // Ava Dellaira

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If you have ever been to a big city, the kind that you can recognize just by the name, then you know that they are pretty much all alike. They all have huge stores, pretty landmarks and tons of people. The thing about cities, though is that you can't get enough of them once you've been. The attractions may seem silly, too tourist-y even but they offer the most fun of the trip. Even if you've grown up in a big city, you should make an effort to do the tourist things. Look at your city from a visitor's point of view. You'll find that your city becomes a lot more appealing.

I always thought that I would love to live in a big city, somewhere that people have always longed to visit. I still think that would be nice, that I would enjoy that. However, there is a quiet thrill in small towns. Sure, they close up at five o'clock everyday and on Sunday nothing is open but they have the same things to offer that big cities have. 

I don't know where I'll end up living but I have grown to appreciate the quietness of small towns and the crude ways of larger cities. They both offer new experiences and opportunities and they fit you in different ways at different times. So don't count out small towns or big cities; they are both wonderful in their own way.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be." // John Lennon 

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The "I" in "I love you" means a lot of things. It's obviously a referral to self and it holds a certain area of standing. It's a commitment. Saying "I" when you say that you love someone refers to the fact that at this stage in the growth of yourself, you fully accept the fact that you have a certain level of acceptance and softness for them.

We don't like to say the "I" in "I love you."  It's too much. It means that people can use it against you then, that they are expecting you to act with love at all times after that. That's why we sign off cards, texts, etc. with "love you."

The "I" is so scary to us because we don't like the commitment that comes with it. We don't like to be vulnerable, to be open to the idea that we are completely susceptible to our feelings and emotions after that statement. Saying the "I" in "I love you" means we have to acknowledge everything about, not only the other person, but ourselves as well. That's way too scary, so we say "love you" instead. I think sometimes that it would be nicer if we could just commit to loving someone, and if we don't want to say that we love them or if we don't love them, that we don't pretend or say it half-heartedly. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose - and commit myself to. - what is best for me." // Paulo Coelho, The Zahir

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Blackhawk fans line up outside the Chicago Stadium, 1975

I am on my way to Chicago today. I freaking love to travel, so I'm pretty pumped -- even if I do have to sit in a car for nine-ish hours. I always enjoy going on trips because there is literally so much stuff to see and I only have a little while. We aren't really supposed to love the world, but some of the stuff that is here is really just amazing, yaknow? I love the idea of going somewhere that is home to someone else, someone I'll never know. At the moment, Chicago is a stranger to me, but home to a stranger. Neato, right?

Anyway, I don't know much about Chicago besides the sports and that Obama is from there. "The Windy City" and all that. One of the girls that I'm going with has been before, so she knows some of the sights and stuff. I really only have eyes for the Art Institute of Chicago, so you can definitely expect some photos from there. I love art museums. I also love going into churches, like cathedrals. I did that in Spain and I did that when I went to San Antonio. It'd be neat if I could do it in Chicago too. 

Anyway, I'm off on an adventure.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“Let me tell your something. I'm from Chicago. I don't break.” // Barack Obama

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"Hey baby, what's your sign?"

That's a really lame pick-up line and I don't actually believe any of the star signs or horoscopes or that stuff. However, the idea of them is really interesting and sometimes they go along with your life in a way that make them seem real. 

I'm a Virgo, which is the obsessive sign. I don't really relate my need for organization and exact details with my being a Virgo, but it is interesting that I lined up that way. Someone told me the other day that I can notice a Gemini by the way that they flip from one side to another. I know quite a few Gemini and it's true for some and completely wrong for others. So I'm not quite sure if I believe in all of the personality traits that are supposed to go along with each sign. 

Whenever I used to read teen magazines, I would always read my horoscope. I'd like to see the money that was coming my way, how I was going to meet the love of my life at fourteen and get to go on a great vacation. I was a little disappointed when none of it actually happened. There's a lot of cool memes now that make fun of it, that assign characters from movies and foods and moods to star signs. Those are the kind of horoscopes that I stick to now. 

In my opinion, our horoscopes don't really mean anything. I don't believe them. However, I do think maybe there is something in the biology of people born in August and September that makes them more organized, more meticulous. I don't really know. Anyway, I'm still gonna read my horoscope in the magazine. Maybe I will finally get that cash I was promised when I was thirteen.

catch you later,

Karleigh

“I don’t believe in astrology; I’m a Sagittarius and we’re skeptical.” // Arthur C. Clarke

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You know, for someone who writes on a blog everyday, I don't really read any blogs. I've never actively followed someone through a time of their writing. I usually just click on the links if the pictures are cute or if they are going to talk about something that interests me. Is that bad? It probably is. I should probably do more blog reading and reviewing; it might make it a little easier to come up with writing ideas.

I'm in a weird time frame of being sick while working vacation Bible school and working my actual job, so I'm pretty tired and my brain isn't doing much planning beyond when a good nap time is and how long I can make it until my next one. So, I took to Pinterest today to see if there were any prompts or something that I could share my viewpoint on. I just needed something to write about because I know I won't want to write later on tonight when I get off of work.

You know most people that blog are a bit older or they live much more active, public-like lives. That's not to say that you need to be old to write -- you definitely don't -- or that you have to have a very active life with a lot of people in it -- don't need this either. However, the ideas were for like outfit posts and go-to summer meals and all that. It was just a bit... not my style. Though I don't really have a style, do I? I'm really just rambling on about how I should read more blogs and not go to Pinterest for ideas... 

catch you later,
Karleigh

“It is good to love many things, for therein lies the true strength, and whosoever loves much performs much, and can accomplish much, and what is done in love is well done.” // Vincent van Gogh

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I like to write things for other people. I sign up for stuff online sometimes that requires me to

exchange prompts with people, to write something for them. It's nice and it's really pushing. It makes me write because someone is counting on me. It's kinda like this. I've told you before that this blog is for me, but sometimes it's nice to know that you guys are counting on me to write something every day. It holds me to it. It makes me write.

Writing is like a blessing and a burden in my life. It's a weird combination. I like to do it, but sometimes I feel like it's not meant for me. Like maybe I'm forcing myself to do something that I'm not actually that good at it. Though, through doing it everyday and with a purpose, I should get better. I'm not really sure. I like to write though so I guess that's enough. That keeps me coming back everyday. Well, that and the fact that you are waiting for me to link it on FaceBook.

The quote below is a bit gruesome, not really how I feel. However, it is possibly true in some cases, on some days. I guess...

catch you later,

Karleigh

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.” // Ernest Hemingway

158/365

I don't get sick often, but when I do it will hit me hard and at the most inopportune time. Yesterday, I woke up at about nine thirty and told my mother that I had to go to the doctor. No question. I had been up half the night because I was leaking out my nose. It was horrendous. So I spent two and a half hours in the office, got two shots, and then a ton of pills. Yesterday, I was on a bit of a high from the steroid shot, meaning I was way too warm and ate way too much. Today, not so much. So I thought, since I am ill, that we could talk about what you should do when you are sick.

You should probably stay in bed or on a couch. It's not good to overexert yourself when you're ill. If you are like me then you feel awful for calling in to work but sometimes you just have to do that. If you go to the doctor, you can get an excuse. It won't actually do anything for your employer, but it will prove that you didn't just call in so you could go parade around town instead of checking out customers at the grocery store. When you get back from the doctor, take a bath. Showers are like a safe place for me; I love them. They are really comforting, so I always take a ton of them when I'm sick. Then put on your coziest pajamas, get a lot of drinks -- juice and water are best -- and settle in. You should only move to take medicine.

I mentioned having a lot of drinks. It is mega important that you stay hydrated, because it'll keep you from feeling super awful. If you get dehydrated, you have to go to the hospital. You do not want to do that, so drink as much juice and water and tea as possible. If you have a sore throat, put some lemon and honey in your tea, which should be hot. It'll soothe your throat. Make sure to have some soup as well. Everyone loves soup when they're sick.

And of course, take lots of naps. Set up a queue for your netflix and doze right on off. The best part about being sick is the naps -- and even they involve some icky sweats and fever chills every now and again. If you're awake, you just wallow in how sick you are. You can't wallow in your sickness if you aren't awake to remember that you're sick. Take a ton of naps. Trust me on this part.

And basically, just wait it out. Take your meds like the doctor told you, drink a lot of fluids, and take lots of naps. Do not try and get out before you're ready. You're no good to anyone when you're sick and no one really wants to listen to you blow your nose. Trust me.

catch you later,

Karleigh

"And then there are days when you must rest." // anonymous

157/365

I'm so glad that I'm not the same person that I was at thirteen. Thirteen was a weird time for me. I had just discovered rock music and the color black. I remember wearing black nail polish and tight pants. I had so many My Chemical Romance CDs and I fancied myself to be quite the daredevil. I don't know why. I guess the music made me feel a lot cooler than I actually was. It only really got worse as I got older because at fifteen, I still listened to all of it. I even went to a music festival with my mom (of all people) and listened to Avenged Sevenfold and I think Disturbed played too. It was weird. That was my first concert and one that I really wouldn't want to relive, if I'm honest. 

As I've gotten older, my music taste has increased and I don't listen to the same stuff that I used to listen to, though I do still love My Chemical Romance and Avenged Sevenfold. It was just a completely different time for me, I guess. And I'm really glad that it's over because I definitely wouldn't fit in at those concerts now. I'm not really made for mosh pits or black nail polish. And God forbid that I ever try black eyeliner again. That was terrible. 

I still listen to rock music, expect it's more Rolling Stones and Aerosmith instead of the bands that I did from thirteen to sixteen. I've changed in a lot of ways since I was thirteen. I don't feel the same way about stuff that I did when I was thirteen or sixteen or eighteen. However, it's easier to remember what I liked based on what I listened to and wore at the time. Thank God I'm not still sticking to black skinny jeans and band t-shirts. 

catch you later,
Karleigh

"Be yourself, don't take anything from anyone, and never let them take you alive." // Gerard Way

156/365

Find yourself. You have to find out who you are and then commit to being that person. If you see something that you don't like, change it. If you see something you do like, adopt it. I think we pick up things from people along the way. We're all pretty weird, mix-matched version of everyone that we've ever met. However, you are that combination and it's nice to keep the good habits and drop the bad.

In your collection of traits and tricks, find out who you are. It's okay to be confused and to not know. I hate this stupid notion of having to have an answer to everything. We are all trying to figure out the questions of the universe. Why are we here? What is my purpose? Here's something to remember: the universe never asked you any questions and it isn't looking for answers. Find something you love and enjoy and nurture it. Grow into yourself. Learn to be ugly and to be pretty. Go do things by yourself and in big groups. Water your dying parts and sit out in the sun when you feel weak. Let yourself be taken care of and let you be the one to take care of yourself. 

catch you later,

Karleigh

"Have fun, even if it’s not the same kind of fun everyone else is having." // C.S. Lewis

155/365

The hardest thing about writing everyday is that I get short on material. I mean... it's summer time and I work nearly everyday, if not at the grocery store then with children. Today, I worked with children. I watched Lilo and Stitch and Tarzan. I ate Mexican food. I went outside. I turned on Orange is the New Black just now. That's not very interesting, yaknow?

It definitely wouldn't call me to read this everyday. Though maybe it is fun sometimes to just know what people do throughout the day... I guess that's why I like watching those vlogs on YouTube. So, I guess we can just really run through of my day. Why not? Like I said, I'm short on material.

I got up early and cuddled through the end of Lilo and Stitch and then through the first half of Tarzan. I fed another baby lunch and then bathed her because she was way too dirty to go about the rest of the day. She was covered in some sort of chicken spaghetti thing and looked like an Oompa Loompa. I went outside. I wiped snot. Snot was then wiped on me. I went out to eat lunch. I went outside. We took naps. Then the babies left and I took a shower and ate left over pizza. I watched Orange is the New Black. I just begged my mother to go buy ice cream sandwiches and pringles.

Obviously there is a lot of thrilling stuff happening right now. Here's to hoping that tomorrow isn't a stream of consciousnesses. 

catch you later,
Karleigh

“Like more tired than usual. Hard and crumbling at the edges.” // Rainbow Rowell, Eleanor & Park

154/365

Have you seen Orange is the New Black?  A lot of people I know have seen it and enjoyed it. I've been putting it off for a while, basically because it seemed like something I wouldn't like. I've never enjoyed prison shows. Anyway, I recently started up my Netflix account again, so I decided to give it a try. This was on Monday afternoon. I've almost finished the season tonight. Obviously, I really enjoyed it.

The show basically follows Piper Chapman, the one in the orange, after she offers herself up to the police when she is named as someone who carried drug money. She's forced to make friends because she's stuck in prison for fifteen months. During that time, she has to make amends with Alex Vouse, her exgirlfriend that named her for the drug cartel/drug money crime.

Piper's fiance is a writer that continously uses her stories from prison in his writing so that he can gain fame. Basically, he's a giant douche bag. This show is nothing like I expected it to be, and I've found myself really rooting for these convicts. That's a little weird, but I have to watch it. I'm a little addicted now.

catch you later,
Karleigh

"I'm scared that I'm not myself in here and I'm scared that I am." // Piper Chapman

153/365

This is a bit late in the day, but I spent this morning trying to finish my book for book club. Then I went to my book club meeting. We read "The Last Days of California" by Mary Miller. I had been meaning to read this book for awhile, after we selected it for our next book. Of course, I put it off to the last minute. I can't say that I was particularly moved by the book. I think the funniest bit, or perhaps the most impactful, is that I could relate each character to a point or person in my life.

The family goes on a pilgrimage to California to experience the rapture. They believe that they will watch the rapture happen and ascend to Heaven. As usually happens with predictions of the end of the world, the claims are false and the pilgrimage is for nothing but a bit of personal growth. Jess and Elise go around the country drinking, meeting boys and losing their faith. 

Each of the characters has a trait that I've seen in people before; though perhaps not the belief in the immediate rapture. Though I wasn't really moved, I have to give Miller a lot of credit because her characters were very well developed. They seemed very real. Maybe that's why the book didn't sit right with me. The characters were a little too real...

catch you later,

Karleigh

“I wanted to be like my sister, who made friends and mistakes easily. It was like she'd been born knowing how to live.” // Mary Miller, The Last Days of California: A Novel

152/365

I know that people have a lot of mixed feelings about the progression of gender and sexuality within our culture. Some people do not like the way that we have evolved, the way that we can admit the truths that so many generations have kept hidden behind locked doors. Others are open to love people and accept people for whom they believe that they are. I have mixed feelings about all of it; I've never been in the shoes of people of different genders or sexualities.

That being said, I want to point out that just because you might not agree with the actions of a person, it is not your place to tell them that they are wrong for feeling the way that they do. The people that you hear about on the news, that struggle with coming to full terms with themselves... They already face a lot of internal differences. It is not your place to add to that. No one needs another person telling them that they are doing something wrong.

I'm not telling you to agree with the evolving nature of sexuality and gender -- as they are not the same -- within our society. I'm not telling you that disagreeing with someone is wrong. You are entitled to your own beliefs and feelings, just as they are. And if you have respect for your peers and for people within the media, then you must acknowledge them as they wish and treat them with the same respect with which you'd like to be treated.

This is why you should stop calling Caitlyn Jenner by "Bruce."

catch you later,
Karleigh

“It's easy to fictionalize an issue when you're not aware of the many ways in which you are privileged by it.” // Kate Bornstein, Gender Outlaws: The Next Generation